Anxious

For the past few weeks I have been feeling very anxious. There is so much going on in our lives right now. We're having a baby in a few months, we're looking at moving into a new home in about a month, a new round of small groups need to be organized at the church, and there are some personal matters that have been weighing heavily on us. Good stuff, but stuff nonetheless.

It seems that I have been going full bore for so long that I haven't really stopped to examine my feelings of anxiety. I know better than to do this (or not do this). I try to follow the Bible when it says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything...present your requests to God." But honestly, I don't have the first clue as to what kind of requests to make to God right now.

When I'm quiet, I calm myself down, breathe some deep breaths, and engage in some self-examination. Why am I feeling so anxious? What's going on inside of me? As of yet...I don't know. So my request to God is, "Show me what's going on in my heart."

It's times like these when I'm grateful to have a God who knows me better than I know myself. When I am anxious, God is not. When I'm confused, God is not. When I don't know how to pray, the Spirit himself intercedes for me with groanings that words cannot express. So I will glory in my weakness of humanity. The fact that I don't really know what's going on reinforces the fact that God is in control. So my heart is still because it knows that He really is God.